How to Test a Negative Thought

Most people think that coming to therapy is a cure. It is not! Therapy is a long process of learning what is worth trying and what works best for you. I look to books, podcasts, TV, movies, and more for ideas and tools.

While watching an interview on Diary of a CEO with “AMERICA’S MOST POPULAR PSYCHIATRIST Daniel Amen, MD,” Dr. Daniel Amen explained one way to deal with these thoughts. Let us try it together with a common negative thoughts

• “I am not good enough.”

• “People do not really like me.”

• “My partner is upset with me or does not love me.”

• “I am ugly, fat, or unattractive.”

• “I am a failure and everyone else is doing better than me.”

Dr. Daniels steps

• Write down the thought.

  • I can’t fit in my clothes I use to fit in. I bet I couldn’t fit in my wedding dress anymore. gets on scale. I knew it. I gained weight. I am so fat. I can’t believe my partner still wants to be with me. No one would want me like this.

• Is the thought true?

  • I don’t know. It could be true. Maybe no one wants me.

• Is the thought absolutely true?

  • No.

• How do I feel when I have the thought?

  • Bad!

• How do I act when I have the thought?

  • I hide in pictures. I don’t talk to new people.

• What’s the outcome of the thought?

  • I am not sure

• How would I feel if I did not have the thought?

  • Much better!

• How would I act if I did not have the thought?

  • I would act like my old self.

• What is the outcome of not having the thought?

  • I wouldn’t worry. I would feel ok.

• Take the original thought and write down the opposite for example, example if it is, my partner, never listens to me the opposite would be my partner does listen to me… is the opposite true? 

  • Someone wants me like this. Yes.

  • Everyone is ok with me like this. Maybe Yes.

  • Everyone wants me like this. Maybe.

Some research suggests that people need about three times more positive experiences than negative ones to maintain emotional well-being and positive mental health. Other research suggests it may be closer to a 7-to-1 ratio. No matter which study you follow, the main idea is that people need more positive experiences than negative ones. For every ONE negative thought, you need a FEW positive thoughts to help outweigh it. So in this example I might repeat all three to myself.

Disclaimer: This blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a replacement for therapy, counseling, or mental health treatment. If you are interested in working with me, please sign up for counseling through the New Client tab.