What’s a Genogram?
Have you heard of a genogram? That is a WONDERFUL tool to start therapy with! Murray Bowen popularized using this tool, and many therapists still use it today! I often begin by asking clients to do homework: writing down a family tree. Just a normal tree that is seen all the time; the only difference will be the shapes of the people. Biological girls are circles and biological boys are squares. I look for 3 generations on the picture. Clients can include all the generations above them, all the generations below them, or a mix. It gets better the more generations are included, but the starting point is 3 generations.
How to start?
Step 1 HAVE A THERAPIST
Some clients do this on paper. Others like using the computer and printing it out. Some use their tablets and bring them to sessions. It will get messy!!! Most families do not look like a textbook family tree. Families have deaths, divorces, remarriages, they have kids, stepkids, half-siblings, and adopted kids. They have people that are called aunt but who are not biologically related. So many people, so many relationships. The encouragement is simply to do the best that can be done!
Some clients use one color for everyone, some use one color for different sides of the family, some color by generation, or color by a person’s sex/gender. It can be as colorful as desired!
Most clients know a little something for all three generations but maybe not everything. The reminder is often given not to be overwhelmed by trying to get it right—just to record what is known and move on. If accuracy is important, this can be a great time to talk to a family member who might know a little more.
Next session
Clients bring that to sessions the next week and begin to add the symbols that were popularized by Monica McGoldrick. These are not kept in the office, and clients are asked to bring them back and forth because of the HIPAA information that is on the sheet. The sheet is typically added to over the course of several sessions, and then it becomes something clients keep and update as needed. Some clients share that years later they brought it back out of the closet after a family gathering to add something they had forgotten about, and that addition helped them understand something more deeply.
After a few sessions
Once there are enough details—and “enough” is subjective—then the work begins to shift into how that affects the client now. For example: a grandfather interacted with a father in a certain way, and that is how the father now interacts with the client. From there, exploration begins around whether that interaction style is something to continue with a child, whether there is a desire to talk to the father about changing the relationship now, or whether simply understanding the pattern is enough and no change is needed. There is a lot to think about when looking at a genogram!
Disclaimer: This blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a replacement for therapy, counseling, or mental health treatment. If you are interested in working with me, please sign up for counseling through the New Client tab.